I was just thinking about my birthday which is today. I am 67. What came to mind was a surprise birthday party that my parents had for me when I was five. In order to get me out of the house, I was to visit one of my favorite adult people. Her name was Hazel. I knew her all my life, and I loved her dearly. I was so sorry when I had to leave.
But then at home people were hiding and popped out just like you see it in the movies. They yelled, “Happy Birthday,” and sang. I don’t remember how well we sang, but we did sing vigorously. We played games and had ice cream and cake. I remember it will because it was the only birthday party I ever had. However, for the years after that our birthdays were always the same…and we looked forward to them.
We would receive a birthday card with ten dollars in it. And we always got to choose what we wanted to eat. I always picked chop suey. Tom always chose pork chops; Dad chose swiss steak with tomato gravy. And we went out to eat on Mom’s birthday. I think we would have fainted if one or the other of us would have chosen something else to eat. Tom and I do about the same…except we go out to eat on our birthdays.
The question is whether all of this is important in our lives. I truly believe that it is very important. Each of us knows we were born. But I am of the firm conviction that each of us needs, once in a while, to be validated by other people. Birthday celebrations of whatever kind serve that purpose.
When I lived in my apartment on Hill Street, I met a man who was the most alone man I have ever met. He trusted nobody at all. And nobody acknowledged his existence on this earth. Nobody. I spoke to him for two years, and he finally spoke to me. Nobody in his family had anything at all to do with him. I had their phone numbers, and they would talk to me but not to him. Yes, he was a troubled person, but it wasn’t too hard to determine some of the reasons.
I could not stand that because I could do something about it. I take him out to dinner for his birthday and get him a birthday card. I also make certain that he has something for Christmas as well as a Christmas dinner with people…usually Tom and me. He is finally in touch with some of his family again I am happy to say…but not on his birthday or Christmas.
We are all the Beloved children of God. No matter what happens in families, we still need to remember that fact. And we need to acknowledge the person that we brought into the world. Without validation of some kind, most people wilt and die in one way or another.
So it is my birthday wish that we acknowledge each other as brothers and sisters in Christ and behave accordingly.
And let there be peace on earth.
Carol
